Restaurant manners (just a little humour)

One must know how to act in a restaurant, firstly sit up smart put ones napkin over ones lap engage in conversation with ones partner not checking on instagram or Facebook. Once you have finished the meal ask for the check\bill making sure they have not add extras if you are paying half each you divide by 2 or how many you have, under no circumstances let the staff do it. Once all this is done check out the waiter if he has a cute arse squeeze and ask if can put his number on the bottom of the receipt.

I have a dry wit sorry